OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
i want to swaddle you in tequila
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
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