Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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