i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
I think people are normalizing furries
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
