Well apparently he's into motor boating.
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
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