my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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