her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
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