I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
home. puking in laundry basket.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
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