I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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