my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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