my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
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