and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
