you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
