I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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