your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
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