Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
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