didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
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