If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Randomize