I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
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