By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
