you have to choose: penises or morals?
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
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