addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
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