anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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