If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
Randomize
