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• (520): View more from Arizona

  His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now

  (310): View more from California

  Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...

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• (650): View more from California

  an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.

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• (302): View more from Delaware

  in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am

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• (323): View more from California

  Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah

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  Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July

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• (619): View more from California

  Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done

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• (262): View more from Wisconsin

  PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES

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• (480): View more from Arizona

  I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.

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• (253): View more from Washington

  Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"

  (425): View more from Washington

  You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk

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• (301): View more from Maryland

  I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo

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  19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced

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• (512): View more from Texas

  He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.

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• (904): View more from Florida

  would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?

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• (229): View more from Georgia

  I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!

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• (613): View more from Ontario

  Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?

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• (406): View more from Montana

  Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....

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• (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂

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