Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.