Texts From Last Night

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  (813): View more from Florida

  so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol

  (1-813): View more from Florida

  well its been awhile since I've surfed

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  (813): so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol (1-813): well its been awhile since I've surfed http://tfl.nu/lkwy
  Replies (4) Good night (2119) Bad night (596)
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  (904): View more from Florida

  How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.

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  (904): How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face. http://tfl.nu/e61v
  Replies (17) Good night (708) Bad night (3089)
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  (806): View more from Texas

  at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.

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  (806): at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap. http://tfl.nu/nba1
  Replies (20) Good night (1104) Bad night (7802)
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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.

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  (617): After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left. http://tfl.nu/2zbc
  Replies (1) Good night (5248) Bad night (950)
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  (860): View more from Connecticut

  I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.

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  (860): I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think. http://tfl.nu/zuxj
  Replies (8) Good night (3142) Bad night (861)
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  (650): View more from California

  I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.

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  (650): I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it. http://tfl.nu/8v3x
  Replies (5) Good night (4214) Bad night (1140)
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  (502): View more from Kentucky

  She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.

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  (502): She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused. http://tfl.nu/76xl
  Replies (17) Good night (2133) Bad night (2779)
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  (806): View more from Texas

  i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...

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  (806): i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea... http://tfl.nu/m62q
  Replies (1) Good night (2182) Bad night (858)
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  (407): View more from Florida

  I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.

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  (407): I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex. http://tfl.nu/84ml
  Replies (34) Good night (5468) Bad night (1165)
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  (506): View more from New Brunswick

  yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.

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  (506): yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her. http://tfl.nu/588d
  Replies (7) Good night (3136) Bad night (1322)
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  (843): View more from South Carolina

  It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.

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  (843): It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine. http://tfl.nu/9l0i
  Replies (21) Good night (1337) Bad night (583)
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  (780): View more from Alberta, CA

  I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.

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  (780): I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag. http://tfl.nu/8hrl
  Replies (13) Good night (1271) Bad night (648)
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  (864): View more from South Carolina

  If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI

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  (864): If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI http://tfl.nu/re47
  Replies (1) Good night (869) Bad night (519)
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.

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  (847): I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday. http://tfl.nu/imb1
  Replies (9) Good night (575) Bad night (736)
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  (563): View more from Iowa

  I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.

  (720): View more from Colorado

  Good. The Jell-O shots look great.

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  (563): I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared. (720): Good. The Jell-O shots look great. http://tfl.nu/jppd
  Replies (0) Good night (451) Bad night (221)

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