how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n