it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
only if we run a train.
done.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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