I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
Randomize
