I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
