The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
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