I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
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