Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Randomize
