So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
