I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
