you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
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