I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
i would punch a child for taco bell
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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