why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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