Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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