I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
