I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Randomize