imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
