But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
I had to cum in my sink.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
