Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Randomize