He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Randomize
