I accidentally had phone sex last night
All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize