Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
