If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
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