dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
