3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Randomize