So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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