Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
