ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
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