So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
