PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
