You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
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