At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Randomize
