you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
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