Just fell off a train. Bad.
so explain again why im purple
no
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
