I'm laying in your front yard are you home
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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