I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
Randomize
