Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
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