This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
