apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
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